I'm grateful for: a really nice shabbos; singing G&s with my family; getting to read yet another really great book.

Do I have to explain, in my own diary for heaven's sake, that it was a very bad night, and of course only on this very bad night I bother to check my stats, and of COURSE (Hashem has such a sense of humour) that whole 24 hours + no one had even peeked at my diary? I wasn't complaining, although I imagine it sounded like I was. Just commenting. Really.

I had a couple of *really* bad nights in a row. Not award winning for me, but it's been a while. I'm not sleeping again tonight - I have a theory, perhaps when I spend all day in bed, the body just doesn't store up enough (whatever-it-is) to be able to sleep. Maybe there is a vital enzyme that you only get from getting up and walking around, so I don't have any in my system right now, and this vital enzyme is the necessary ingredient for not staying awake all night. I'm open to creative ideas here.

I can't say I don't move at all. I have lovely muscle spasms, and limbs twitch randomly and at odd moments. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it hurts a lot. Mostly it is just annoying, and it makes getting up and using the שרותים (Hebrew for toilets) just more exciting than any roller coaster I've been on for a while. I haven't actually hurt myself yet, but I did a really fascinating lurch, spin and slam into the corner of a door jam last night. Too bad I haven't a web cam to record the excitement.

The best part, I think, is when I lie down and try to relax, and generally one arm or one leg, but sometimes it's both an arm and a leg, or maybe a shoulder will get involved - Anyway, some limb or limbs will start this sort of - Drat! I can't spell the word I want - well, anyway it just sort of twitches and shakes and jerks JUST like I'm having a seizure. I'm not, really. I suppose my arm (for instance) may be said to be havinga seizure, but *I* am not. I'm just lying there, waiting and hoping my arm will join the rest of my body in trying to sleep.

Just once, many, many years ago (more than fifteen), a neuro prescribed something for the muscle spasms - actually it was technically a drug for 'restless leg syndrome,' but who's checking? - that actually worked. It quieted the muscle spasms, I took it just before going to bed, and it didn't disrupt my whole day or anything. So, of course I got pregnant (what else did I do back then?) and I had to go off the drug, and when I'd had the baby the dr. refused to give me the same drug, but insisted on giving me something else that did absolutely nothing. And so it goes.

I could try asking my current dr. for it I suppose, but since he's not a neuro, and I'm out of the loop with my neuro for going on a year now, I am not sanguine. Better Hashem should remove the symptom and have me get on with the remitting part of the disease already. Far more likely to work, to be honest.

Tonight isn't such a bad night. I had a very nice visit with D2 and N. Much, much better than I'd expected, to be honest. I had an enjoyable time singing Gilbert & Sullivan patter tunes, and other tunes, and patter tunes not by G&S with various members of the family, depending on who knew the words and/or tune, and gender, sometimes.

For instance, I won't sing as a son of Gama in their song (the sons of Gama, I mean) but I will sing Gama's song. And I'll sing 'Tit Willow' which is Koko's song, as well. For anyone who cares, King Gama and his sons are in Princess Ida, Tit Willow is in the Mikado, sung by the Lord High Executioner to Katisha to convince her to marry him and pardon him for not executing the emperor's son.

But that is besides the point.

N was kind of out of the loop, sometimes bored, sometimes (I think) overwhelmed. We are quite a lot to take all at once, our whole family. He was unfailingly polite and pleasant - D2 says he was on his best behaviour. And, I think, overall he had a decent time. It didn't help that he is horribly allergic to something here, and was miserable with it. I felt so bad for him! I wanted to 'mother' him, but in my physical condition and our extremely rudimentary relationship it just wasn't to be.

We also had a small but rather nice birthday party for D3. She is fifteen on the 15th. Which it is here, now, in Israel, but not in the U.S. yet. She got quite a nice collection of presents, if small, a music cd, a cute beanbag hedgehog keychain ornament, some drawing pencils and some cash and a lovely silver chain. Also we have a chocolate ice cream cake which I think is the best ice cream cake we have yet gotten in Israel - if not the best cake we've gotten in Israel. Really yummy, and huge, and, well, good.

I had a couple of *very* nice quiet moments alone with D2 and one also very nice one with D3. S3 was wonderful, even if he talked N's ears off a bit. The rest of us were just as happy that he talked to N, and gave the rest of us a bit of a break. S3 happily sang with us, then sang Irish folk songs, then some Scottish folk songs, and finally some Canadian before he finally got tired, or moved on to something else. He has a fine voice, but can't keep to a tune to save his life, or any other, which makes his singing a bit of a trial for the rest of us, but he does *love* to sing.

The dogs had a nice time, too. N is warming up to Chamudah - I'm guardedly hopeful that maybe someday if he and D2 ever get married, they might take her? A person can hope.

I got to speak to S2 and RS and MMF and LL on the phone, and kept missing or being unable to speak with FB. I was a little bit toasted by all the visiting and the phone calls, but the improvement in mental health was palpable.

So, I am hoping for a slightly better night, despite the fact that I don't seem to be sleeping. Tomorrow TH is going in to work, which will make for a long-ish day, but at least it will be a 'normal' day - normal schedule a regular Sunday supper, that sort of thing.

I don't know if I mentioned that we sold five chickens Thursday. Four half-grown roosters and then one full grown rooster in the evening. He was one of our 'keeper' roosters, named Mandrake (we don't name them if we don't intend to keep them). He's a red rooster, and red birds are highly prized by the Ethiopians, so we get a better price for them. Also, he really was a very fine bird, strong, big, a good protector and father of young chicks. He had one fatal flaw, however. For some reason he liked to park himself right outside of my window and crow for all he was worth. At 2am, and 3am, and 4:30am, and 5am. I got really, really sick of him crowing so loudly right outside my window. I suspect our next-door neighbour, who's house is maybe 6 meters (yards) from my window wasn't any too thrilled about it either. So, Mandrake is now in the Ethiopians' back yard (it's a particular family of Ethiopians, but I don't know their names or anything). He may have a long and happy life there, I don't know.

Oh, what else? I can't remember, my mind is a blank. I'm done feeling sorry for myself for the moment. Sadly, those feelings will return. Happily, they won't last. I am SO ready to stop being crippled, and I mean, this is just too much.

I spent eight weeks in bed not long after S3 was born, but I think that was the last time I was this crippled. Ten years ago. I coulda lived without this.

I hope everyone reading this, and yes, I know you do, is having a lovely day/night/weekend. Be well and Gd bless,

I'm listening to Chamudah snoring. Sweet.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06